the NOT WORTH ITS OWN THREAD thread could be revived

[Advances>|<MONKEY]

Read that as "shot gun bears" and it really does ad quite a wonderful element of danger. Can you maintain steady aim as you get drunker and the bears keep coming, bigger and more aggressive as you drift into the evil american wilderness.

[Bored Taco Supreme]

I am going to do horrible things to you

[Advances>|<MONKEY]

Ripped on 18 tallboys each the rafter switch to slugs and encounter THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Two starving grizzly bears waiting at a cataract, tired of salmon and hungry for MANFLESH. BANG! BANG BANG they fire wildly, emptying their magazines and dropping half of the ammo into the water with shaking hands as they try to reload. Finally, one bear GETS ONE OF THE RAFTERS AND SHAKES HIM TO PEICES, in that moment RAWTING HITS THE BEAR IN THE CHEST. It stumbles back just enough for the whole crew to unload. IT falls over DEAD!

they pass the small rapid, the sun sinks low into the trees and the sky turns orange. They cool down with whats left of the icechest, just a few beers left. Just enough for the evening. SUDDENLY OUT OF NOWHERE comes SOME FUCKING DUDE! the white of his metal shirt is eclipsed by the glint of his boxcutter catching the rising full moon. Then they know. THEY ARE NOT OUT OF THE WOODS YET.

[Wormholegenerator]

Yea I want to see more of that horse

Cute funny horse pictures

[Black Jacques]

God fucking damnit I threw the potatoes on the grill and I forgot the fucking onions. Came back inside and there they were sitting all nicely choppedon the cutting board.

[postaddiction]

Yea I want to see more of that horse

Cute funny horse pictures

[The Torsion]

Being drunk is the whole point of being on water always and forever

this is why i love you

U complete me bro

[Necrometer]

blast from the past, but I just cracked up all over again reading this anti-woman dudes' plans for their dream homes... it's so incredible

Specifications for your Ultimate MGTOW Digs

SPOILERSPOILER_SHOW

Let's take a bit of a mind-trip, gents...

You're done with all of this society's dumb shit, over the notion of the suburban house/wifey/kids/etc, and you have an opportunity to create your haven... What does it look like for you?

Me? I have a plot of land away from town, towards the hills and preferably out of the average zombie's purview. There is a large shop on this plot, with a comfortable 2 or 3 bedroom apartment atop/aside it, and the fenced in portion of the property has tiered gardens with food, a pond or two, greenhouse, etc.
Inside the shop it's all man-business: Car lift, restoration tools, sturdy work benches, sound system, and a few admittedly provocative posters decorating the walls. Shelves hold parts for my various projects, and many summer afternoons go by with the doors open and the music nice and loud.

Upstairs/alongside the garage things are tidy, nice, and comfortable, albeit somewhat more utilitarian/industrial than most homes (i.e. wood/tile floors, business-style carpet squares laid down in lieu of large expanses of carpet, access door with a lift to make furniture/appliance moves super easy, exposed beams/wiring conduits, etc). There is a storage/utility room with washer/dryer that also functions as a storage pantry with chest freezer, shelves for foods, and a used restaurant sink for basic prep. Going upstairs, you enter through a secure door into the main living area. The wide-open living room is welcoming and liveable area, with a nice bar/counter dividing it from the open concept kitchen and home office areas (with plenty of room for cooking, entertainment, and relaxation), skylights to bring in natural light, and an easygoing, laid-back atmosphere. A walk down the hallway leads to two nicely furnished guest bedrooms with a bathroom between them, and a metal exterior door leading to the Master Bedroom.

Inside the Master room you find a nice king-sized bed, a Master bathroom with large Jacuzzi tub, and a walk-in closet/preparation area that houses a very large gun safe (for... um... important papers, yes that's it) and a bench for, well, sorting those papers out? Sure, yeah that's it. Interior specifications call for exterior-style doors and sturdy walls/framing, communications systems, etc to keep things safe in case of intrusion, and I would have a full-color camera system with digital recorder that can be accessed via internet (as I intend to travel quite a bit) to keep tabs on things at my Base of Operations. I would most likely use the shop to create artwork and furniture to put into the home, such as metal fountains, decorative items, and a sturdy four-poster metal bed. The more things I get used/build the better, since I don't have to go through 'the committee' for 'approval' and I am going for a more eclectic and industrial/usable style.

Ideally, I could get a place big enough to keep all of my projects and parts cars inside of the shop and still have enough room to move, and I would have a home small enough to be low-maintenence yet large enough to be able to entertain. I would not be adverse to the idea of going for a "Highlander" style living arrangement (i.e. a place inside of a warehouse or disused industrial building) but around here most of those are either in super-ghetto areas and/or they've been yuppified and priced out the stratosphere by the lispies... So ridiculous, but I digress. I think that being outside of town is a better bet anyways... Just some food for thought.

SPOILERSPOILER_SHOW

I'm buying a place for the first time. The plan is to completely gut it and get it renovated just the way I want.

It's a large flat in a warehouse conversion, a short walk from where I work.

I'm going to have a huge room with an open plan kitchen and wooden floors. There will be no permanent furniture - it's just completely empty space. The plan is to have several furniture options which can be stored away in built-in cupboards running the length of one of the walls. I found you can get inflatable sofas and chairs, so I can fill the space with loads of comfy seating when I want to and put it away when I don't. There will be several large folding tables and folding dining chairs. I can arrange them for dinner parties, war gaming evenings, board games, bible study night, or whatever. There will be floor matting I can get out to practice gymnastics or with my Krav Maga group. There will be a projector screen I can set up for movie nights with the guys. Basically, it's a super-flexible space I can configure for almost any purpose.

I am setting up one room as a hobby/study/computer room. It's a decent sized bedroom at the moment. I will put in a desk that runs all the way round three of the four walls, giving me a huge working surface. There is room for a couple of ergonomic office chairs in the centre of the room. There will be tons of storage under the desks, and glass fronted shelves above them. I plan to install a sink and an extractor fan in one corner of the room and set up my pillar drill in that area. Broadly the three walls will be devoted to my computer, an area for paper work by the window, and an area for making models, painting, and tool work. The shelves are there to display my models (the glass stops them getting dusty) and to serve as the main library.

Other than that there will be a nice bedroom with a king sized bed and plenty of unobtrusive storage, and a well appointed bath room.

The styling will be spartan, but high quality throughout.

And there will be NO FUCKING SCATTER CUSHIONS!

SPOILERSPOILER_SHOW

Wow, great thread. I've got about 30 pages of specifications for my ideal home. Pretty much what you said. A little smaller house. Mostly land for raising REAL free range chickens, waterfowl, maybe some goats. Privacy is a big thing for me, so 10 minutes outside of town would be perfect.

A place to build a makeshift shooting range with targets up to 500 meters. It would have to be away from people as there are way too many anti-gun people in this day and age. I don't want people calling the cops because they hear what might be gunshots from 2 miles away.

The one floor thing that Bubba mentioned is something I want. Assuming I build/convert my ideal home, I want to be able to use it when I'm 80 years old. So, the elimination of stairs and unnecessary heights.

The urinal would be a definite sign of a bachelor pad. Not really necessary if you have a toilet, but definitely cool. How many people have urinals in their houses? I know wifey would never allow anything that she couldn't use/was man centric. Maybe Jay Leno has a urinal...

SPOILERSPOILER_SHOW

My perfect house will be nothing but the basic essentials with a few creature comforts.

The whole house will be "decorated" with nothing but plain matt white paint. Not egg shell, not the 200 other white alternatives. Plain matt white. All the carpets will be the same, a light blue/grey colour thoughout the whole house.

My bedroom will be bare aside from a double davin bed with a bed side table with nothing but an alarm clock on it. A double wardbrobe holding my few clothes and personal items. There will No television, no game system. Just my laptop resting on the bed.

My Bathroom will feature a power shower, tiled white, dark grey floor tiles. Basic bowl sink and a toilet. The only toiletries will be toothpaste and brush, body wash, shampoo, deodorant and scissors to cut my beard onxe a month.

A small gym either upstairs or down. Featuring nothing but a set of weights, a treadmill/bike and a mat to do push ups and sit ups. No 2 kilo dumbells, big ball thingys or anything that required 6 easy payments of £69.99.

The study will be the only cluttered room in my house. Huge double PC set up, Writing desk, model/hobby desk. Shelves stacked with books, music etc and a single bed in the corner of the room to crawl into when i want to rest.

The living room will have the only TV in the house so i can watch sports and play video games. 2 brown leather sofas. One small cupboard for holding DVD's, games.

The kitchen will be stacked with a rangemaster oven, cooking devices a plenty. I will have a small pallet of meat delivered from the local butcher every week and a small pallet of fruit and veg delivered from the local greengrocer.
Any other groceries will be ordered online.

And last but by no means least, the storage room, Washer, dryer, fridge/freezer and a years supply of househoud wears suchas detergents, toiletries, cleaning products and long life food.

This house will feature nothing that is not needed to live, It will assist me in developing my mind and body in solitude.

this one might be my favorite:

A large piece of land on a lake front. The closest neigbor is 3 miles away. It's a wooded area with a large portion to put a house on.

Plenty of fish in the lake. I have a rowboat with a small 3HP on it: enough to go fishing.

Right under the shadow of a big oak tree lies my residence: a 24 to 27 feet trailer with good quality quipment it if. Next to the trailer is a big "tent", like 24 by 24 where I do my reading, another tent, right next to it is where I cook me fish or chickens and my vegetables on rainy days. A place, on the water front (fireplace) where me and my friends, cook the fish we just took and we sing and drink beer until dawn. Behind or on the side of the trailer is a nice garden for biofood, a greenhouse and a small barn with a few chickens and behing all of this is a small corn field where I grow my corn for the chicken and some weed for me and my friends.
From time to time, Lolita (or Lola) drives from town to sell me some of her love.
Job? Yes, a one day a week type of a job, nearby, where I can drive to on a scooter.
Living allowance? Eight to nine thousand a year. Revenue 15 000 and room for savings on an early retirement.
No taxes.
Oh, and I forgot: a wooded place where I can listen to my beloved Mozart and others...full blast.

Friends: 2 or 3 also live in the same region and we often have parties, lots of delicious fish to fill our stomach and home made beer galore.

MAN! What a life!!

[Toilet Fleet]

so me, the wife, and some friends decided a while ago "hey, we should go get burgers. a lot of times. and drink." which is, of course, the best possible vague plan ever. so we took a train to dtla yesterday, and... went someplace that only serves french dips

actually fuck it because i got a lamb french dip with goat cheese on them shits

and later drank the girliest fucking rum beverages you ever saw

and my wife met some dude that was in true blood? he seemed shocked to be called out on it in public, but like happy shocked? he was dreamy. god i am a train wreck of a person. goat cheese on lamb.

[elephants gerald]

kills

http://www.stereogum.com/1691984/weird- ... ody/video/

[Necrometer]

this is the only sort of acting Jack Black should do (or should have done) after School of Rock

as soon as I got the gist of it, my brain activated a subconscious countdown until "selfie" was mentioned and/or pantomimed...

[copstache]

kills

http://www.stereogum.com/1691984/weird- ... ody/video/

I'm so happy that exists. Pro-weird al.

[elephants gerald]

yep.

I would absolutely fuck kristen schaal. extraordinary ugly hottie. she has this weirdly intense animal sex vibe

[Necrometer]

I'm not sure how much of a coincidence it is consider she seemed a bit more sexualized there than usual, but I was thinking similar stuff when she appeared - "what would it be like to date her? I bet she'd fuck like a banshee..."

I didn't conclude that I would fuck her, but I'll admit I'm not sure what would happen if I were faced with the opportunity

[FVBTVS]

dude no kidding i wrote a post, twice, and deleted it both times, to the effect that i would pulverize the living hell out of her

i just couldn't say it for some reason

but

[Necrometer]

please confirm: recently y/n

i just couldn't say it for some reason

patriarchy strikes again

[FVBTVS]

this very morning

[Necrometer]

just wanted to make sure I wasn't missing out on some other stupid sexy data

[copstache]

i do love her. weird and funny goes a long way. and it's not like she's ugly

also this

[ThePhillyExperiment]

I think the first sign of being a douche bag is wearing a "keep calm and chive on" shirt.

[copstache]

it's definitely up there in the "i have bad taste in websites" hall of fame, somewhere behind people with reddit bumper stickers

[riley-o]

I'll go ahead and Cryptoplasty out and say Schaal's rubbery face and high-pitched irony are completely unfuckably repulsive.

[Zap Rowsdower]

I watch so much Bob's Burgers that I'd feel like a pedo.

[The Torsion]

Looks like any dumpy 30-something teacher at happy hour on a Friday who keeps making eye contact with me and smiling. No thanx

[Introvert]

I'll go ahead and Cryptoplasty out and say Schaal's rubbery face and high-pitched irony are completely unfuckably repulsive.

It's her professional schtick. I'll bet she's more than pleasant to have relations with in real life.