WHAT DID YOU DO AFTER WINTER BALL?

[cxwx]

I assume that’s how you got into the “Scrolls Of The Megilloth” album? Total sleeper nazi reggae.

[kevin hash]

No I loved Mortification before my time in culty cunt land.

'Scrolls' came out about 4 or 5 months before I was baptizing my bone in her hole of the megilloth.

I got a couple other good bianca stories.

[cxwx]

I actually think “Post Momentary Affliction” might better. Most of their other stuff is trash.

Anyways, back to more kunt stories.

[kevin hash]

1991

Rebecca was a petite kinda nerdy girl. Not a whole lot of personality but nice nonetheless. She had curly dark brown hair that was kinda in one of those bob type hairdos. She dressed plainly and did not show off her body. No tits really. It didn't matter. I barely knew her as she was a grade ahead of me.

Her friend Jennifer was in my biology class and she informed me 'my friend Becky has a crush on you.'

'Who?'

Jennifer said 'I'll point her out to you after class she's really sweet.'

So we are walking down the hall in between classes as visions of dumped loads danced in my head. Jennifer points her out to me. Me being a youngin' felt kinda flattered that she was into me with my zits and cure tshirts.

We end up hanging out here and there. Real wholesome stuff like walk her to her house after school. We would shoot the shit on the phone. It all seemed kinda cool. But my balls were needing a little bit more.

We eventually graduated to making out in her living room while MTV was blaring on the TV. Then one day she gives me the opportunity ol' rover was needing.

'I'm going to be babysitting tonight in Kalama you should come watch movies with me.' I eagerly say 'geewhiz that sounds really keen.' She gives me the address and we agree to meet later on that night.

So I head out to where shes located. Fuck....I can't find the place.....I'm frantically trying to figure this out. I will be goddamned if I'm gonna just go beat off in my car. Mind you there are no cell phones and I had no way to reach her.

She said to go here and turn left there and it's right over here kind of mumbo jumbo. I pull off on the side of the road and eyeball a house 'this has to be the place's I mutter to myself like an idiot. I saunter up the driveway and am starting to peer in some windows. Don't know why I didn't just knock on the door. I peek in the front room window and see some old dude lounging in his recliner reading the paper.

Wrong place....guess I'm jacking in the car.

I drive up the road and have a weird hunch that maybe this cliffside house is the place. It was like my pud was a divining rod. I knock....and boom there she is in sweatpants and tshirt looking equal parts frumpy and hot. We hang out for awhile and then the next thing you know we are in some random bedroom rolling around. I slid my hand into her silky panties and navigated past her pubes to insert digits into her insanely tight poon.

She is moaning and groaning. I'm begging her to fuck. She says we can't because there is no rubber. She then proceeds to rub her clam up and down my leg. I busted a fat load onto her stomach....I was 18 so it was a vigorous and generous load. I used my shirt to clean her up.

I decided it was time to go home and watch wrestling.

I throw my cum smeared shirt on and head out into the night.

I didn't hang out with her much more after that....at least until 1997 aka fuck everything in sight summer.

[kevin hash]

1997

I was living in Oklahoma and my time on the air force was coming to an end. My marriage was toast my days of buttfucking her on a beanbag chair had come to an end.

I go down to the payphone to call Jessica. I used to have a crush on her in 4th grade. She did not feel the same. She had a crush on my senior year but I was with Christine so that was a no go.

She has had the same phone number for close to 36 years at least. I dial the number out of the blue....I hope she answers. My divorce isn't final but I'm ready to bust nuts and pump cunt.

She answers.....surprised to hear from me. We make some small talk and then I begin my snow job.

"I'm getting ready to move back to town next month. It would be really cool to maybe go out and have some coffee or something."

She eagerly agrees and tells me 'I can't wait to see you blah blah blah jizz.'

I eventually get back to kelso and after about a week or so I decide it's time to meet up with Jessica. I call her and she gives me her address.

I show up at midnight like a goddamned serial killer. She lives with her parents so in an effort to be courteous i shut off my headlights.

She comes to the door and there she is. In all her semi obese glory. 'What the hell?' I think to myself. She was never known for being slim but she was fuckin fat. Still she had that cute face and long blonde hair.

Plus I had driven drunk a long ways with a full sack of white piss. I was not going to just abort now.

We go to her bedroom where we kick back on her bed and watch TV. I regaled her in stories of my ex wife treating me so cruelly. I really played the victim and showed her my vulnerable side.

'I just want to be with someone who actually loves me' I say with a sigh.

Her follow up was a stunner. 'Would you be ashamed to be seen with me."

Oh shit. Now what? I don't want to hurt her feelings and say something like 'I really like you but you are fat as fuck.' So I did the romantic thing and said 'of course not you're perfect just as you are.'

Another hour of chit chat and some kissing I'm about to head out. It's getting late, she watches stupid TV shows, my buzz is wearing off and no cum blast is in sight. I tell her I need to get up early in the morning and go to work. She asks me to stay.

Make out sesh kicks into high gear. Next thing you know I'm licking her pussy and it tastes unreal. It tastes unfucked. She trembles and moans as she cums with my tongue buried in her slit.

"No one has ever done that to me before."

We make with some sappy chit chat and I make my exit.

But.....did I cum?

Yes.....a few miles down the road when I jacked off in my pants. Goddamn I can still taste that box 20+ years later.

For the record she became one of 3 chicks I was plugging at that time. I would come up and do the deed with her on Monday or Tuesday, Rebecxa on Thursday and Christine on Friday Saturday and Sunday.

I used Wednesday as my rest night where I would go to bed early.

[kevin hash]

2002

I was feeling like I wanted to pump jizz in a chick's mouth. So while trolling facebook I run across ol spooky tooth stacy. Still looking robust as usual.

"Hmmm maybe she's thirsty." I think to myself.

We message back and forth for about 20 mins or so. She tells me that she moved. Right nearby as a matter of fact. I inform her that I gotta run cuz I have to go grocery shopping.

It's about 11:30 or so.

"You should stop by" she says.

"I might just do that sometime." I reply.

5 mins later I'm in my car heading down South Pacific and I pass by the apartment complex shes living at. I pull over on the street and park. Leave the engine running. I pull out my phone and dial. She answers.

"I'm out front come out here." I tell her.

40 seconds later shes in my car in pajama pants and a t-shirt. No bra. She is all tits. So much tits it's kinda weird.

I pull my dick out of my sweat pants and she immediately goes to town on it. She gives ripper head. After about 2 minutes of prime pud huffing I launch a 7 squirt omelette into her neck. She drinks it down like a champ.

"Thank you" she says as she exits my car and lights a cig.

I go get some burritos at Muchas Gracias and then head back home to chill.

Total round trip....maybe 15 minutes.

[hipster holocaust]

as visions of dumped loads danced in my head.

Out of everything you've done on here this has to be in the top 3.

[kevin hash]

2006.

Lori had been after me for awhile. Not sure why. But anyhow she was like 5'10" punk rock chick. One of those party girls that's listens to murder city devils and takes it seriously. I finally started taking notice of her flirtatious ways at a show one night. She was wearing a plaid skirt, tight tshirt that amplified her fat juicy tits. I smoked a blunt with my sister and her boyfriend before the show and was seriously fucked up. The Hickmans rocked drunkenly. Through my weed and beer splattered eyes I could see the tall drunk bronx listening floozy rocking out to my sweet serenades of drinking and dumping broads. I was the pied piper making her slit moist. She was the big titted snake charmer making my peen fill up with cum.

Several beers later. She staggers up to me and asks for a ride home. I was sorta feeling like 'nah I would rather go home and eat taco bell or pass out on my couch....I dont need this bullshit.'

Oh but....No. I can't pass up an opportunity to get my fuck on. So I say 'okay let's go.' She tells her sloppy drunk girlfriends shes leaving with me. They all go 'oooohhh' and all that bullshit that drunk fatties do at 2am.

Meanwhile....in the car....I got insect warfare cranked. She loads a bowl of some prime skunky weed. She hits it at the stop light. I hit it at the next.

5 or 6 mins later I was pulling up in front of her bungalow she lives at.

'Come in with me.' She says.

'Nah i gotta get home' i say. I'm really not too keen on spending the night at her place. I got wrestling to watch and drooling to do.

Next thing. Shes kissing me frantically. Groping on my ever stiffening dick. She unzips my pants pulls my bone out and bends over and starts bathing my prick in her velvety beer spit. It feels killer. Best blowjob in ages. Her ass is hiked up in the air. Anyone walking by could totally see her asshole. No panties.

I reach around and slam my fingers into her silky pussyhole. 2 fingers piston in and out she is losing her shit. She is sucking so fucking hard I feel like my balls are gonna get sucked out of my pee hole.

Her pussy is dripping down her leg. My car smells like weed and cunt. I unleash a thick beastly load into her panting mouth. Her cunt clamps down on my fingers. Definitely worthwhile.

She sits back down into the passenger seat and looks at me with glassy eyes.

'Come stay with me.'

'No' I tell her....'I have to get up early and go to work.'

She starts tearing up now realizing she has my load in her stomach.....for nothing.

She hustles her way out of my car. I peel out with insect warfare blaring. I never talk to her again. I see her on instagram but she has her shit set to private.

Another on bites the dust.
Show time....blow time

Plaid6.

[kevin hash]

Addendum:

The next day I got in my car.....she left her bag of weed on the floor.

I smoked it all.

[kevin hash]

2002.

This takes place a week after my last interaction with Kara from Oregon City. I stupidly told her I was playing a show....and then after realizing my mistake I inform her that Bung had broke up. That oughta get rid of her.

Fast forward.....Reed College Bung has a show with vulgar pigeons and cattle decapitation. Our set was adequate. Vulgar Pigeons was so goddamned violent and brilliant. The student activities room got all sorts of fucked up.

Cattle D comes on.....they have their work cut out for them and they know it. But instead of Travis Ryan busting out the beef jerky mask and barfing up yogurt....they proceed to bore the fuck out of everyone. Vulgar P demoralized them. Balls cut off completely.

I exit the room to go outside to smoke some cigs.....out of nowhere is Kara from Oregon City on crutches with her foot in a cast (I didnt ask).

'I thought you guys broke up'

'Yeah ......we did but we worked it out.'

She left in a huff to go watch Cattle D. 5 mins later she left with some metal bro. I dont remember how I got back home to Longview. I probably jacked off. Dont remember.

She got ahold of me on Myspace about 3 years later and invited me to go hang out with her at a cemetery. I never responded.

Napper denapitation.

[kevin hash]

2001.

Stephanie was a short nerdy chick that liked NOFX and whatever local fag punk bands were around. She was making the bar scene and going to all the shows. She had dark curly hair glasses. She reminded me a little bit of Janet on Threes Company' but with a bit more butt meat.

Hanging out at Porkys one night with all the other local bar punk dickheads. Powering down brew and looking for some easy cunt to top off the night. Me and Stephanie start talking.

I'm putting on my greasy pot addled charm. Shes walking ever closer to my bear trap. Shes getting more flirty. I'm getting more flirty.

'We should hang out sometime.' She says.....beer wafting off her breath. I throw down the gauntlet.

'You should give me a ride to my place. I make a great grilled cheese sandwich.' This is all code for pumping her clam.

(My license was suspended at the time and whoever I got a ride from was long gone)

She says 'okay let's get one more drink and let's do this'

She pays for the round so I get some high end porter and she gets a whiskey sour. We sit back down and flirt some more. My dick is sending messages to my brain 'crank her sniz.' I feel a droplet of pre-cum soak into my underwear.

We head out to her piece of shit car she starts it. The windows are all fogged up. We start making out while the smell of gasoline hits my brain.

'I'm gonna fuck you' I tell her. My wood is getting sappy. I run my fingers through her curly hair. It's thick and coarse. Not good. But she kisses like a motherfucker.

We get back to my apartment. I put on Spazz 'La Revancha' and turn on the stove. I load a fat bowl of skunk and we proceed to get fuckin ripped. We continue to make out in between fat hits. This is gonna be good.....

I go prep the sandwiches and throw them on the griddle. I go tell her stuff is cooking....shes on my couch with her pants off. Panties on the floor.

'Come stick your dick in me.'

I whip my throbbing piss stick out and get cock/cunt level on the floor as she raises her legs up nice and high. We get down to fucking hard. The pressure is building up in my nuts.

Oh fuck..... better get ready to pull out. The cum is racing to the top. It squirts a nice thick rocket of sperm into her cunt. The remaining 6 or 7 squirts dump out onto my living room carpet. I am preparing to finish her off with my tongue and then....

Oh fuck....I smell burning food in the kitchen.

Grilled cheese sandwiches burnt black one one side. I serve her up one. She eats it. Well...most of it. She then proceeds to leave. This is great because I don't have to say shit or make up weird stories.

Door shuts. I wash my dick in the bathroom sink and then take a bunch of knife hits.

[kevin hash]

1997.

Jenn was a 'voluptous' sorta kinda punk rock chick. I honestly couldn't tell you anything of what she was into other than fucking. So yeah.....big round double D tits and a big fat juicy ass. Some would have called her a fat pig....I called her right away.

I first met her when she showed up at the pizza joint I was working at. She had come in to see her boyfriend monte. Even though she was dating this goofy ass she kept trying to get my attention. She was overly flirty and quite frankly it was embarrassing because I don't want to be a part of whatever issues shes having with my pal monte.

Few weeks later I see her walking. I pull up like a pimp in my purple Suzuki swift.

'Hey...where you going? Need a ride?

'Sure' she says with a bright fat tittied grin. 'My apartment is not too far away.'

She hopes in and away we go. She smells good. My dick is telling me to play this through. We pull up to her apartment and she says 'wanna check my place out? I just moved in.'

Bingo.

I go in and it's a small place but good decor. She has a good eye for kitsch. She gives me the tour. We chit chat. Then she catches me off guard.

'I dumped monte would you like to start seeing me now?'

Me being no fan of commitment try to steer the conversation 'oh man....what happened there. It really seemed like you 2 were super into each other.'

'Yeah but he don't want to have sex as much as I want to. I'm a nymphomaniac and need sex every day.'

BOING. My peen is in love. How can I get her to front me lays without the relationship bullshit? I start babbling about something else and then she starts attacking me. Tongue in mouth. Hand on my dick. Her hand is gripping my prick through my pants. She knows she is in control now.

She shoves me against her living room wall. 'Treat me rough please.'

I then yank her tshirt off to reveal her bra'd up hugs. Fucking massive. She's got my shirt off and is now undoing my belt and pulling my zipper down.

Her tight plaid pants get yanked down. She has black lace panties on which are big enough to use as a car seat cover. Her ass is round and fat. Massive turd cutter. She has my pants off. My underwear got flung across the room. I shove her onto her couch and proceed to boil my weiner in her piss cauldron.

'Pound my cunt baby' she begs. Her fingernails are clawing my back up. My bone is pounding her cervix. Her big juicy legs are high in the air. We go at it hard for like 10 minutes. The scent of her box is filling her tiny living room.

I pull my bone out and tell her 'let me fuck those tits bitch.' She complies as she pulls my on top of her and wraps my pud up in warm sweaty tit meat.

My reactor is in meltdown mode as I frantically pump her boobs. A thick ropey load covers her neck and chin. It drips slowly onto her couch. Fuck it...I ain't gonna live here. I fetch my clothes and start getting dressed.

'You're leaving???' She says incredulously.

'Yeah I just saw your clock over there and it's getting kinda late (it was like 8pm) I have to work early tomorrow.'

'Will I see you tomorrow?'

'I'll come over after I'm off, maybe we do dinner or something.'

I give her a kiss and some cigs and promptly take off. I did not come back but not the next day. I came over a few weeks later on my lunch break but she wasn't kicking down cunt. I got a 45 minute guilt trip instead.

She ended up marrying a friend of mine about 6 months later. Another one out of my hair.

She'll be back though.

[Eight Bit Alien]

[kevin hash]

2001.

Voluptous Jenn reappeared in my life. I don't remember how exactly. But enough water had passed under the bridge where I could probably do the cannonball in her pussy if I wanted to. But anyhow I think she came to a show and we started talking. I do remember that her number was the same.

We talked a few times on the phone. Nothing heavy just some chit chat to amuse me while I took afternoon bong rips.

'I have to go to work now' she says but then follows up with 'I'm off at 10 if you want to come pick me up.'

Effortless. Simply effortless.

She worked at the cosmetics counter at Fred Meyer. She instructs me to pull up right out front at 10.

'Buy rubbers and ice cream.' She says.

In the last few years Jenn had been married and divorced and was now searching for a new boyfriend/husband. She should have known better to come peddling cunt around dad but it's none of my business really.

I show up at 10. She gets in the truck. She looks fuckin good. Make up just right, smelling like a cotton candy dream, tits ample and busting out of her top.

I told her I got the rubbers and ice cream....and a half rack of PBR. She bent over to me and said 'you are so sweet' and gave me a kiss. I light a cig and turn up the tape deck as 'organized meat's by the cows stabs the hot summer night.

Back at my apartment we throw the ice cream in the freezer, beer in the fridge and put on a movie. We sit on the couch all cozied up like a sweet loving couple.

A short time later after a few beers we start making out. The light of the TV is the only light in the room. I rub her legs and slide my hand up her tight black skirt.....no panties.

Bing bang boom we are both stark raving naked and I have her legs pinned back as I drill her clean shaven sweaty cunt. The light of the TV shining on her sweaty bouncing jugs.

we both forgot the rubber. I pull out just in time but I might as well have left it in because i painted her pussy lips in jizz.

She instructs me to put my dick back in 'just leave it there baby I just want to feel it.'

Afterwards I feed her ice cream at her request. I let it drip off the spoon onto her tits. She licks it off. I lick it off.

We repeat this act in various positions a few more times through the night. We finally passed out in my bed. This is not what I want but I'm too drunk to haul her out of here.

Next morning I gave her a ride to where she was living. We repeat this process for a few weeks.

She was only interested in fucking which was fine with me.

[kevin hash]

2001.

I go out with fat jenn for drinks. We go to the Canton and slam down some. We go back to her apartment. We are walking down the sidewalk when we see some mutual acquaintances she tries grabbing my hand to pretend we are an actual item, I pull away and put my hands in my pocket to get cigs.

We end up at her apartment drunk as fuck. I know we get naked and screw but I don't remember anything about it.

I wake up in pitch darkness, not knowing where I am. Then I realize I'm in her bed on the side facing the wall. My arm is caught under her and its asleep. She is snoring so loud it sounds like a semi truck.

How the fuck do I get out of here? I'm trapped. My every movement is subject to trigger her waking up and trying to make me stay.

I spy light creeping in through her apartment door. I measure the distance from her bed to the door. I try to recall where my clothes are. I decide I need to just take a chance and hope she is as passed out as she sounds.

Like a magician pulling the table cloth off the table covered in fine China. I yank my dead arm out from under her. It is dangling and totally numb. I slowly but steadily slide down toward the foot of the bed.

She wakes just slightly.....'baby?'

'Just gonna take a piss be right back baby' i whisper as my feet reach the floor and i stand upright. I'm still fuckin drunk. She goes back to snoring.

I ninja my way over to her side of the bed. I step on my clothes. I throw my underwear on (backwards). I am tempted to jack off on her while she sleeps. I get real, throw my pants on, shirt on, grab my socks and shoes and head to the door. I'm a one armed escape artist.

I grab the doorknob, turn, pull the door open as hallway light blasts in.

CRRRRRRREEEEEEAAAAAKKKK.

Fuckin door is going to foil my plans. She doesnt even stir though. I step out into the hallway. I grab that fucking door and slam it as hard as I can and start running.

Down the stairs I make my exit down to the alley. I realize halfway down the stairs i forgot a sock. I throw my shoes on real quick like. I take a piss next to a dumpster, zip my pants up, and walk back to my apartment. I look at myself in the mirror I look like I've been mugged.

My life is in a cunt soaked tailspin.

[kevin hash]

1999.

Me and Kim had been together for about 6 months. I had pissed on her, fucked her with a cucumber, boned her pussy and butthole every night during that time. We used to sit around, smoke cloves, watch wrestling, get ripped, and listen to black metal. It was a pretty good gig I guess.

But she didn't. She was rapidly losing weight and leaving the house more often. I figured out that she was doing meth with her sister. She was probably fucking scott the piercer or scissoring with his girlfriend. Fuck it.....I didnt care.

She moved out, so did I.

Then about a week or so she calls me. 'Hey wanna go out and get some drinks at the maltese?'

I had been kinda missing her so I said yes.

I picked her up that evening. She lived in a shitty ghetto apartment complex a few blocks away from our old place. She was a hot sort of goth punk rock chick. She was considerably slimmer but she looked good.....real good. Junkie bitch.

We go to the maltese, shoot some pool, slam beers, put velvet underground on the jukebox. Talk about stuff. It's a nice night. Maybe we are getting back together.

Nope.

'I just feel bad that we left on such bad terms. I wanted to say goodbye to you the right way.' She says.

'Oh.....okay.' I said with a lump in my throat.

We polish off a 4th pitcher between us and we decide to call it a night. I'm fucking blitzed but I never miss an opportunity to drive fucked up. I take her back to her shithole apartment complex. I sigh inside knowing cum will not leave my dick unless I jack off in my car.

'Wanna smoke some weed? Come on....let's get stoned.' She says as she starts getting out of the car.

'Oh okay' I say, trying to be as emo as possible. What is her game? Is she trying to make me feel even worse. Goddamn I'm a pussy.

We go upstairs to her apartment. She turns on some bullshit like NOFX. We get fucking peeled. I hate NOFX. I decide I'm going to take a few more tokes and leave. Fuck NOFX.

I get up to leave 'well.....I guess I'm gonna head out.' I tell her I had a good time and let's do it again sometime and blah blah blah. Fuck this bitch.

She grabs me and we immediately get into it. Clothes off, panties down. I go right for her pussy. She sits on my face on the living room floor. She is going to fucking town on me. Her pussy tastes like delirium. My prick rises from the grave of emotional degradation.

She reaches back to check out my cock and promptly hops off of my face and impaled herself on my flagpole.

We fuck all over the living room. Then we are in the kitchen. She's bent over the counter. I'm railing her frothy fuckhole out and she is losing her mind. I reach towards a butter knife and I put it to her neck.

'Oh fuck baby's she pants in between thrusts, 'rape me.'

I continue pounding her box out with the butter knife pressed to her neck.

We are in a blur of drunken raging cuntfoolery.

Next she is sitting on the toilet taking a piss while she sucks my cock. I empty my beered up bladder on her face, her hair, the piss is running down her tits and in between her legs.

She is loving every second of it as I get down on her bathroom floor. She stands over me and soaks my cock with some of her sweet piss. She then sits down on my prick and pumps my nuts dry. My sperm floods her box.

We wash up. I put on my clothes and leave. A faint hint of piss lingers on my skin.

Bye kim. Junkie whore.

[kevin hash]

1993.

By the summer me and Bianca were starting to drift apart. We had both ditched the church gimmick. I was back to jamming with my band and buying GG Allin records. She was working at a minute mart and had cut her long black tresses into a short hairdo. It reflected her insincerity as a good Christian girl. At this point shes in full drunken floozy mode.

She had picked up smoking and stealing mad dog 20/20 orange jubilee for ol dad. Praise Jesus.

One day she informs me that she is gonna be babysitting a kid for some friends of hers. She invites me to tag along.

"We can watch movies after hes asleep." Wink wink nudge nudge.

Of course I take the bait. This bitch had long given up the pretense of 'we shouldn't be doing this cuz God.' Ever since I met her she would lay down the cunt and then get all guilty afterwards vowing to not do that again.....then proceed to drain more cum from my dick.

I show up at the place where shes babysitting. It's your typical middle class place. Her cream colored Ford Fairmont is parked in the driveway. She let's me in and we take to the couch to watch TV. I never once saw this kid she was babysitting.

After making out for about 10 minutes and shoving my fingers in her pussy she rides my prick on the couch. She grinds her smooth shaven pussy against me and I unload a thick load deep inside her.

Everytime I fucked her I would think about the time she told me she was on the pill. What a score.

We get dressed and split a Pepsi. 10 minutes later I'm pumping her box from behind in the kitchen. Another blast of jizz glazes her fuck tunnel.

She goes to the bathroom stark raving naked. I'm putting my clothes back on in the kitchen. Just as I am about to put my shirt back on and go back to watching TV she catches me and pulls me into a bedroom.

It's a parents bedroom o would assume. She yards my prick out and starts licking my flaccid dick still moist from her spermy hole. I stiffen up because she knows how to suck dick. I punch it back into her doggy style on this strange bed. It takes a little bit longer this time but I squirt out another load of spooze this time on her back.

I clean her off with one of my socks.

30 minutes later we are snuggled up on the couch. No kid in sight. She gets horny AGAIN and begs to be titty fucked. I comply but my dick is starting to wonder 'what the fuck are you doing?'

I squeeze out for shots of nut butter on her tits.

20 mins or so later she says 'I want more baby.'

She labors my pud back into fucking condition as I pump her pussy. This is fun but it kinda sucks too. This time she pulls me out and moves my prick head to the precipice of her asshole. I ease in gently. Her ass is like a vice. Luxurious in its smoothness. She starts moaning louder. Shes gonna wake this kid up and that poor bastard is gonna be greeted by the sight of me cranking the babysitter's butthole out.

Shes moaning and panting, my peen is soaking in the paradise of her coal chute. I squirt my ball sauce into her colon and pulled my weakened meat out.

I go to the kitchen and wipe my dick off with a paper towel. No poop crumbs. Nice. I grab another pepsi from the fridge and head back to the living room. She has to be done using my prick by now.

No kid sounds. No kid presence. All this humping and it doesnt arouse a kid's curiosity? Weird.

20 mins later this insatiable Mexican freak is working my depleted piss silo in and out of her mouth. I'm fucking spent. My dick might be hard....I'm not sure.

Apparently it's got enough for her to sit down on it. She grinds up and down side to side. This goes on for quite awhile. The urge to cum is no where to be found. Is there any cum in my nuts to begin with.

I finally get that familiar tingling feeling in the tip of my pud that signifies that I'm ready to cum. I dont think I'm even hard anymore. I pull out as my poor peepee coughs out a single drop of lonely sperm. It doesnt even reach her buttocks.

I tell her......I dont have anything left.

She gets up and goes to the kitchen. I hear her rifling in the fridge. She comes back with a small grocery bag.

3 bottles of orange jubilee. I love this woman. I throw down a few swings. She tells me the parents should be coming home soon. I go take a quick piss before I go, she goes outside to smoke. I quietly check some of these rooms to see if there is a kid anywhere. Nope.

I leave with my broken dick, booze and a bunch of questions.

Did she break into a house so we could fuck??

[kevin hash]

1997

The haunted fuck summer. I was in the midst of a pussy pounding spree back in those days. I kinda had a routine worked out. My routine consisted of doing whatever I wanted every night except Wednesday at which time I would be in bed by 8pm.

I was soaking my dong in Jessica's box and Rebecca's box several nights a week during the week. Then the weekends consisted of Christine coming to town and getting a hotel room so I could crush her poon. None of these chicks were aware of each other. To each of them I was their boyfriend of sorts. Actually, Christine was certain I was her boyfriend, I had no clue what the other 2 thought.

But one started to see through the disguise.

Typically, after Slave 69 practice I would have 2 options either go home or go cruising for snizz. Jessica wasnt always a good option because she lived so far out in the sticks. Rebecca on the other hand was a few blocks away.

But here's the (pud) rub. Jessica had the tight juicy pussy that a young man could really dig. Getting to her house was a dangerous proposition for me since I was a habitual drunk driver. Rebecca on the other hand had a pussy that had been ruined by childbirth. You could hear wind whistling in and out along with my dick. Like....barely touching the sides. She had been railed out by a horse it would seem. But she was only a few blocks away.

So this time i opt for the easy drive and down Mill street to Rebecca's house. Mind you, she still looks good, her body looks killer but that pussy is a 2 car garage. I dont understand.

Anyhow I knock, she answers the door and let's me in. Shes watching movies so I sit down next to her and join her. I dont remember what movie it was... the tv might as well have been off for all I cared.

I cut to the chase and start making out with her. Then she pulls away and asks me:

"Do you only come over here when you've been drinking?"

Fuck....she knows.

"No not at all. I drink because I just got done with band practice. I just came over right after to hang out with you."

Weak.

Anyhow, we ended up on her bed upstairs I did the whoosh whoosh on her bang hole and left soon after. Washed my dick with a washcloth when I got home. Ate taco bell and passed out.

I never went back.

[kevin hash]

1997.

On the scene at the Tower of Power concert. Victor Wooten was ripping silky basslines. I'm fucking drunk. This chick in front of me is dancing her big ass off. Shes with some old Santa claus looking motherfucker.

I notice that she is backing up closer to me.

Fuck bitch mind your space.

She is within a few inches of me, still dancing. Santa is bobbing his head totally oblivious.

Now she's making contact with me. Shes trying to grab my hands. Her buns are cloaked in denim. Vibrating against my thunder stick.

We carry on like this all night. Then after the show she makes a beeline to the bathroom. I need to know who this chick is. So I stand nearby hoping to see her after she gets done taking a piss or shit or whatever.

She comes out. She sees me and walks over. She hands me a piece of paper with her address and number on it. Her name is Melissa (not one lung). She gives me a kiss and says "call me....I have to go find my dad."

Santa was dad.

I call her the next day. I figure she dont remember what she was doing the night before. She totally does and we make plans to meet up. She comes up from Portland and we have dinner at Shari's.

Shes good looking, a little on the plump side. We talk for awhile. Something about her though is annoying me. So the challenge becomes how do I get rid of her AND make my frank n beans happy?

We go for a drive and end up at the rock quarry up on Carroll's Road. Good spot for naughties. We make out while leaning against the back of her car. I spin her around and start dry humping her big ass. She has a skirt on.

I dont even get my dick out before blowing my load into my pants. I think she is mostly unimpressed. I dont remember exactly what happened after that but suffice it to say the end was hasty.

I never spoke to her again. I know she lived on Glisan. In Portland. Her dad was named Nick.

Who cares.

[godofdeadlydeath]

I didn't get laid until my sophomore year of college. The most action I got post-high school dance of any kind was the overnight party at my buddy's house after senior prom. I fingered my then-girlfriend at the time on his lawn near his driveway. That was about it. I had to get picked up at 4:30 a.m. by my mom and grandmother so we could drive to my brother's college graduation in Syracuse that day. This was in May of 2002.

[kevin hash]

1999.

I was bummed about about my recent break up with Cucumber Kim. We had just had our last hurrah with piss and butter knives. The chapter was closed. Me and my penis were in mourning.

It was late summer and me and brother Matt were kicking it on the front porch smoking cigs and drinking beer. Christina, who is our roommate's girlfriend shows up and she has this little petite friend along. Her name was Molly.

I decide to pick me, my heart, and my spermer up and try to work my magic. Like Ralph Malph I still got it. We made plans The next day to hang out.

Next day comes and she shows up driving a Jetta or a volvo....I don't remember. I plop my buns into the passenger seat and plotted the course....let's go to the pawn shop. I hock some movies or cds or something so I can buy some cigs, weed, and beers. We go to a coffee shop and sit outside and talk about whatever. I don't remember because at this point my balls are starting to broil.

We end up going to her mom's house......oh yeah she is 18 and I'm 26......fuck it. I follow her into her mom's room because she is going to borrow a shirt or something. We start making out and we frantically get naked. She sits me down and straddles my bone and slides down. Tight silky cunt grips like a vice. She is wet and ready to break my pud in half. We go at it for a few minutes and I then realize I better pull out.....I do just in time as I blow some exstrasm all over her public area.

Sonofabitch.....so fuckin good.

We then proceed to get dressed and go back to my place to drink beer. We lasted about 8 months. She told her mom I was 18.

[Eight Bit Alien]

1998. A time of darkness.

Metallica had just come out with a new burrito. I didn't give a fucking shit, but Danny called me on the phone one night and said that Fat Julie Brisbane wanted to try one. In sophomore year that could only mean one thing. My tallywhacker pig poker was dry, but not for long.

Sure enough, ole Julie flagged me down in a parking lot the nex day. She was carrying a picnic basket and two folding chairs. Said she was dog sitting for the weekend, and she needed someone to help her sit on the other chair. Whole place to herself. Me and my turgid cumcrusher were happy to oblige.

When Saturday finally came, I drove up to Picnic Mountain and found the house. She was inside with the dog, cooking 67 pounds of macaroni and cheese. She handed me the picnic basket from earlier and i opened it up. Three cans of spaghettios, a six pack of brew and 3 packs of cigs. The old 3 6 3. Some things never change.

We finished up the macaroni and locked the dog in a shed outside. She pulled up her skirt, and I ate Julie's brown ring for hours. She wanted to have sex but I refused. I had to get back to town. Her barley-hole was like a home away from home all summer long. On the drive back I listened to Incantation.

I didn't realize it at the time but things were never the same after that.

[ghost boner]

God dammit PICNIC MOUNTAIN

[Eight Bit Alien]

2002. The summer of Mudvayne.
I still remember the way the spring rain smelled, the morning after our sophomore Ravioli Social.

Brenda had big legs, and wore her hair in long blonde braids. I couldn't wait to investigate her cunt like a detective clocking overtime. I was on stakeout, and that gash was guilty of grand larceny. I was gonna work her over like a hobo trapped in an abandoned outhouse, desperately trying to free himself before high tide at shitwater creek.

8pm sharp. Her place.

She reached into her bag and handed me an eight foot long meatball sub. Not bad for a Tuesday. She handed me some napkins too, but I threw them on the floor. She looked confused by that but I didn't have time to explain.

"I'm gonna fuck you when I'm done eating my sandwich " I said.
"Sounds great honey " she replied, and before she could say anything else I turned around and sat in the middle of the floor, facing the wall. I didn't want her to distract me from my sub.

She went over to the stereo to put on some music. This was probably to drown out our fuck-noises just as much as to set the mood, although I wouldn't have cared if her parents heard. It would have been their own fault for having a daughter who listened to Chevelle. When the tape deck opened, four packs of cigarettes shot across the room and landed in my lap. Smokes for the road.

Anyway, I took my brumbus out and she started to toot me off. It felt great and I started to wonder why I wore pants in the first place. Before long I had her flipped onto the bed and I'd buried my face in her slop-chapel. It was room temperature and smelled like home.

My slump was getting the dizzy tingles from all the cunt-pushing. Soon enough her hidey-hole started billowing north, and Tonto was galloping in. Slick ropes of salmon mustard were fucking up the linen, and I'm pretty sure her parents heard the whole fuckin thing. Unbelievable.

I was getting close and she knew it. Ahe thought this was her chance, but too bad for her I'm impossible to trick.

"Will you be my husband someday?" She asked, voice bubbling up from somewhere under the pillow.
"Not likely bitch" I said, and I shot cum all over her homework like Spiderman attacking a bank robber. If that upset her at all, she didn't say anything about it. Probably got extra credit.

I dried my slump off on her shirt. She handed me a clean hat, and a fresh pack of smokes to go with it. She told me to drive safe, and I waved goodbye to her biscuit.

For the rest of that summer, i would drive down to Corndog Valley where she lived and we would find little excuses to discipline each other's weasels. She would touch my privacy, and I would suck off her barley-hole.

I never saw her much after that. I heard she married Chinese Dan and moved on over to Farmville a few years back. Hope they're happy.

Good old Susie Pilsner.
She only had one eye.

[Introvert]

Sticking with the original topic….I never got laid after the handful of school dances that I went to.

Freshman year of high school, I somehow ended up getting asked by this pretty hot sophomore stoner chick to the homecoming dance. I seriously don’t remember how we met or got to know each other but lots of phone conversations and then one night a week or so before the dance I made it over to her apartment. She stole a couple of her mom’s beers and we went and hung out in the hot tub of her apartment complex. A little making out before we went back inside to watch a movie. Her mom was in bed and we ended up making out on the couch, me playing with boobies and on to some finger blasting and she was jerking me off. I had no clue how this was supposed to work and was actually worried about blowing my load so it never happened. The night of the dance, her mom drove us and another couple around from dinner to the dance and then she was definitely drunk when she drove us all home. Pretty sure she ended up hanging out with the dude from the other couple later on because he was a senior and a total dirtball stoner. Fast forward 6-7 years later. I hadn’t seen her since high school and I was in one of the bigger bands in town. Ended up grudge fucking her a few times including after a show my band played on Halloween. She was dressed as a flapper with a bunch of feathers on her dress. I was literally pulling feathers out of my mouth while chomping box. Lost track of her permanently shortly after.