The New Unstoppable MMA Thread!

[spacehamster]

Also, can I just say that Dana White insisting he's going to make UFC 249 and all this other shit happen despite the pandemic is really just the epitome of everything that's stupid about him, about conservatives, about everyone who's ever been in a room with Donald Trump, and just... ugh.

[cxwx]

It’s a bit hot now as this happened several months ago.

Some dumb ass tried to mug Polyana Viana with a non existent gun

[THE KILL]

feels good man. is he making a gang sign in the pic though? then she didn`t hit him hard enough...

[cxwx]

feels good man. is he making a gang sign in the pic though? then she didn`t hit him hard enough...

That’s someone else touching his shoulder. There’s an interview with her where she says she hit him with some hooks but then she kicked him in the face and that is where most of the damage came from.

EDIT: you are correct, looks like he’s doing the “hang loose” sign.

[FVBTVS]

[spacehamster]

For a brief second I looked at that guy's face and I thought it was Robert Whitaker, and I thought, damn, Bobby Knuckles got fat.

[kevin hash]

Started over with all the UFC events. I'm currently watching UFC 7 Brawl in Buffalo.

Holy shit....some of these dudes fucking sucked.

The ring girls look like total bar sluts.

Super pubed in the panty area.

Paul Varelans is a total jobber.

[kevin hash]

Riley do you think you could whip Oleg Taktarov's ass?

How about Joe Son?

Kimo?

[kevin hash]

Just finished Ultimate Ultimate.

Taktarov vs. Severn....naptime.

Khabib would smoke prime taktarov.

Shamrock on commentary dressed up like he's ready for prom.

Big John yelling at the fighters the whole time.

The reviews will keep coming.

6/10

[kevin hash]

Just watched UFC 8.

Kimo was a piece of shit as a fighter.

Varelans is still a jobber.

Frye crushes cans to win the whole thing. Bunch of no name jabronies.

Ring girls look slightly better but the Asian broad.... yikes.

Shamrock is a goof.

The commentary of Jim Brown is not missed. Commentary still sucks though. No budget for Michael Buffer so its back to the G-Man.

4/10

[riley-o]

Riley do you think you could whip Oleg Taktarov's ass?

How about Joe Son?

Kimo?

There’s some pretty hilarious stories of Taktarov training with the Shamrocks. He was known to eat raw ground beef with his hands after training. Wouldn’t want to tangle with him.

Kimo was huge, but zero technique. I probably would get squashed, but grappling has evolved SO much since then that it’s not crazy to think any competent no gi grappler could isolate a leg on any of those guys and ruin them with a heel hook. Even Royce from that era was more tough and had something no one has seen before rather than being particularly technically skilled. Even just thinking about how no one threw, much less could take leg kicks back then, I think anyone who has had success in regional MMA, or even advanced level grappling tournaments would likely fuck up the whole field.

Pretty confident I would massacre Joe Son with ball flurries.

[The Bill]

Riley in his prime vs zombi Kimbo Slice ?

[riley-o]

LOL Kimbo would annihilate me

[The Bill]

L

LOL Kimbo would annihilate me

The Canadian Dream is over.

[kevin hash]

Watching UFC 9

mark Schultz has a carnival strong man butt.

Gary Goodridge doing post fight interview in sunglasses trying extra hard to cut a promo.

Cal Worsham wasn't even at his peak yet. That wouldn't happen for at least a decade before he met Dan quinn.

Mark Hall looks like he could do some yard work for you. His white panties betray nose breaking destruction of dumpy chink.

Ring girls have saggy asses. Prime cunt era had yet to begun. Rectangle pube job. Don Frye got his pisser sucked at the end of the night.

Sponsored by Red Baron Pizza.

To be cunt-inued.

[kevin hash]

Severn vs. Shamrock.....the super fight

Fucking utter trash. The pioneer status that these guys get is totally undeserved.

UFC 9 is abysmal. Mccarthy is unbearable.

Commentary sucks. Frye is the only thing happening here.

The commentator talking about getting hit with a cigar is the highlight.

3/10.

[kevin hash]

UFC 10

Frye is looking like the first actual MMA competitor.
Mark Hall is going to need to take a breather before he works on his Ford Bronco.

Brian Johnston with his American flag panties looking real gay.

Fiedler with his idiotic haircut angling for a WWF contract. Deserved to lose.

Mark Coleman's first appearance and the dipshit he fights does a fighting discipline called "survival".....okay jobber.

Buffer still trying to find his style.

Mccarthy still yelling at everyone like he's some kind of a big deal. What's his deal? Is this like some sort of a gimmick to make UFC seem more edgy?

Goodridge should have been in the Nation of Domination.

I am starting to get the impression that UFC is starting to push some of these dudes by pairing them up with absolute idiots with zero fight IQ.

ring bitches are looking good tonight. The blondes own it with juicy fat tits and totally plump butt meat.

Tank Abbott on commentary would probably be cool if I was on acid.

Coleman should have gone to WWF could have been in some new version of Demolition.

I think this is where Frye left for Japan which was probably a fat chunk of change.

Decent event I suppose 5/10

[kevin hash]

UFC 11

Further proof that UFC was hiring job guys. Julian Sanchez was mopping the bathroom at the arena before someone said....hey get out there.

Total job guy. Never fought anywhere else again. Coleman gets the easy win.

UFC clearly saw something in brian flag panties johnston as he too gets paired up with a clueless no name guy. The set up was obvious....the UFC wanted a coleman vs johnston fight because it was probably going to be the best fight on the card.

Tank Abbott is back...shitty haircut and all to sub another job guy.

Jerry Bohlander is only on the card because he's with Shamrock. Good looking babyface to potentially face off with monster heel coleman. UFC has been trying hard to fill the Brazilian void left by royce Gracie so the just hire random dudes. This match goes the distance but who cares.

The judges have to stand up and display a placard with the winners name on it.

The old saying....card subject to change....in full effect here. Bohlander depleted so he can't face dump truck Abbott.

Coleman subs johnston in a pretty decent fight. Its looking more and more like its tank vs coleman.

But then....here comes Scott Ferrozzo a fat dumpy piece of shit from the tank school of beer chugging. Dude probably smells like minit mart food.

Tank vs. Ferrozzo is a total piss and shit break. Hugs all around. Tank is a trainers nightmare. No stamina no technique. Judges give the win to ferrozzo who babbles about how he knew this was going to happen.

The greatness of Ferrozzo is yet to be realized. Shockingly Don Frye is here with him. Thought he was off to Japan. Wonder how he ended up training this dude. Seems like the predator would have zero patience for this sloppy deep fried Jojo.

Anyhow....ferrozzo cunts out in the finals. Officials scour the building for an opponent but there are no takers. Coleman skates to the win.

Resume is padded. Can crushing night is over.

Ring sluts looking decent but the UFC is still trolling the local strip joints for these chicks. Ferrozzo did not get any puss. G-man is back on announcing.

4/10 if only for the Ferrozzo promo at the end and the cluelessness of sanchez who clearly doesn't understand what he was talked into doing.

[kevin hash]

Ultimate Ultimate 96:

Varelans is back....bigger and stupider than ever. Facing of with an emaciated kimo. Both look like shit. Kimo is depleted so he gets replaced by don frye's buddy mark "you need any handyman work done?" Hall.

Don Frye is back in the octagon against the perpetual loser Gary Goodridge. I know UFC really wanted Goodridge to be a star but he pusses out like no other. WWF really missed the boat with him though. Frye gets an easy win.

Tank Abbott is back against cal Worsham. Unremarkable bout. Guaranteed tank ripped some beer farts during this one.

Shamrock is back one last time before he heads to wwf. He is up against flag panties johnston. Shamrock wins but fucks himself up and both dudes job out of the tourney. Jobber nobody steve Newmark is here to give someone an easy night.

Tank is back to shit his pants and send nelmark into obscurity. Off to the finals he goes.

But wait......here comes Scott by God farrozzo in shades, medallion and sportcoat to cut what I believe to be an audition promo for big time wrestling. Pure delusional gold that would have gotten over on the indies. Another missed opportunity for ECW or NWA. his reputation is now etched in stone. Legendary.

Don Frye dispatches the all American handyman with a knee lock. This fight looked rigged as fuck. Come to find out there is a belief that hall threw the fight.

Frye vs. Tank in the finals. Foregone conclusion since tank is an abomination in the stamina department. He was probably pretty well hammered by the time this match happened. Whatever. Frye wins again.

Ring girls are lookin pretty sniffy tonight. Strip club bims all the way.

Mccarthy is still a prick. Unbearable.

Good times 6/10 the ferrozzo promo is worth it all by itself.

[kevin hash]

Riley where you at on Tank Abbott?

Think you could have whooped his ass?

Where does he rank all time?

[cxwx]

[kevin hash]

Yeah I saw that. Someone booked that for their backyard can you believe it?

Hey Riley where you at on Pat Miletich?

[riley-o]

Tank and Pat both have their places in history, man.

Tank had a legit enough wrestling background to pummel and do a sprawl and boxing decent enough to win the finals of a toughman comp at your favourite divebar, and kinda came in and just cut through the bullshit of how useless being a red belt in strip mall green dragon gung fu was, and only started really getting exposed when he fought the Don Fryes of the era. He was also ridiculously strong and had a 500+ lb bench, and was I think the second or third guy to be smart enough to wear gloves. He would have absolutely mauled me like a grizzly eating a sleepy rabbit.

Miletich had much better boxing than most guys at the time (not saying much there I know) and was one of the original guys to be competent in multiple disciplines. His real contribution to the sport was as a coach and commentator, both of which he ended up being excellent at. He was the Greg Jackson of his time and had the first MMA super gym, where guys like Matt Hughes, Tim Sylvia, Robbie Lawler, Jens Pulver all fought out of in the early 2000s. He was also the sole sober voice of reason ever in Strikeforce commentary, which is ironic given that he’s become a Q Anon nut since then.

Loving these breakdowns of early trash UFC man

[riley-o]

Tank and Pat both have their places in history, man.

Tank had a legit enough wrestling background to pummel and do a sprawl and boxing decent enough to win the finals of a toughman comp at your favourite divebar, and kinda came in and just cut through the bullshit of how useless being a red belt in strip mall green dragon gung fu was, and only started really getting exposed when he fought the Don Fryes of the era. He was also ridiculously strong and had a 500+ lb bench, and was I think the second or third guy to be smart enough to wear gloves. He would have absolutely mauled me like a grizzly eating a sleepy rabbit.

Miletich had much better boxing than most guys at the time (not saying much there I know) and was one of the original guys to be competent in multiple disciplines. His real contribution to the sport was as a coach and commentator, both of which he ended up being excellent at. He was the Greg Jackson of his time and had the first MMA super gym, where guys like Matt Hughes, Tim Sylvia, Robbie Lawler, Jens Pulver all fought out of in the early 2000s. He was also the sole sober voice of reason ever in Strikeforce commentary, which is ironic given that he’s become a Q Anon nut since then.

Loving these breakdowns of early trash UFC man

[kevin hash]

I am on UFC 26 currently ill do a little backtracking. So amazing how many dudes are still getting allowed to compete when they have zero business being in there...like that big fat Indian....last name is roberts.

I'll recap this week man. I think with Jeff Blatnick on commentary it gives the product something it was lacking. Its starting to look like modern era. The UFC is starting to recognize who the stars are.

Randleman is the natural butch reed of the UFC.